Billionaire Romance Is So Wrong… BUT I LOVE IT!!

If you’re a lover of all things romantic fiction then I guarantee you will have read a billionaire romance at some point in your life. Whether it was a Fifty Shades Of Grey by E. L. James or a This Man by Jodi Ellen Malpas (my personal favourite), you will have no doubt read this hugely popular trope. 

As a writer myself, who was once spending a great deal of her time deciding on which particular romance trope to slot myself into, I spent a lot of time reading billionaire romance. Suffice to say, I bloody love the stuff but when you look at it in the broad light of day, I can’t help but think that Billionaire Romance is hugely screwed…fucked up in fact! Let’s take a little look at our favourite fiction and just why it has to remain within the confines of our favourite pages…

Romantic Fiction – So Wrong But So Right

  • Everyone Is So Bloody Attractive – there isn’t one single unattractive person described as having a face only a mother could love. There are no stretch marks, no love handles and most definitely no back fat to be heard of. Even Brenda at the local supermarket must be using the best Liz Earle three step routine because she’s bloody radiant at that til.
  • No Worries – now I don’t know about you, but even before kids came along, I had a lot more going on in my life. Maybe it’s just me, I don’t know but I love the escapism I experience whenever I read a billionaire romance because the girls never seem to have a single worry apart from the absolute stranger who’s just entered their lives. Now I have two kids, bills to worry about and my husband, I envy the girls who walk around without a care in the world!
  • Still Acing Their Career – despite being mentally tortured by this brand spanking (literally) new person in their life, enduring absolute turmoil, they manage to stay on top of their careers and quite literally ace life. Give me one piece of bad news, one troll comment on social media and I’m horizontal for days. I need to take a leaf out of their books.
  • Money Talks – if the billionaire were in actual fact a guy called Brian on a regular wage, he’d be deemed a sicko and told to fuck off at the nearest opportunity AFTER they’d shopped him into the Police. He however, IS NOT a regularly paid guy called Brian. He’s a billionaire called Adrian or something to that effect…so the technically abusive relationship is allowed. Hey, I’m not knocking it. I’d be up for it…Jesse Ward give me a call #ifyouknowyouknow
  • Fabulous Names – everyone has fabulously modern names, which if you ask me was incredibly forward thinking for their mother’s during that time. I mean, there’s not a single Janice or Rita in sight.
  • Status Updates Anyone? – despite their status, not one of these billionaires commands an Instagram audience like Kylie Jenner so it’s totally unreliable in my opinion. More to the point, where the hell is anyone’s facebook status? If I were one of these girls, I’d at the very least be updating to ‘it’s complicated’. 
  • The Girl’s Best Friend – she’s always got a best friend whom up until now, she listened to without question. They were so close in fact that they could probably be described as sisters from another mister. Then the fateful day comes that Mr Billionaire enters her life and hey presto, the oh so close friend and her oh so reliable opinion can now bugger off. I’ve decided this relationship is and always has been a bloody lie. Fuming!
  • Body’s Like An Adonis – despite working every hour under the sun being the CEO of the biggest enterprise in the city, they still have time to sculpt their abs into a shape that would make Chris Hemsworth cry with envy. In what world? With such a full on career that is without a doubt a lifestyle, where’s the stress eating? The four Krispee Kremes at 3 in the morning crying into their Vodka? Where’s the “the gym can fuck right off this morning Alice”?

Despite this obvious mental and in some instances, down right physical abuse in the boudoir, they still end up together…but then again he is a billionaire right? Billionaire romances are so fucking screwed but my god, do I love them!

4 Responses to “Billionaire Romance Is So Wrong… BUT I LOVE IT!!

  • Love this. Funny, cause it’s true!
    *flips furiously through her next billionaire romance*

    • I know right! Does make me laugh. I read so many because let’s face it, we all love it. Then I sit back and think, hang on a second…if this guy were poor and named Ian, it’d be a job for the police!! lol

  • Elizabeth Davies
    3 years ago

    Love this,, you need to recommend me one to read.
    Going away on 2nd April and I’ll take it with me !

    • Definitely the This Man series by Jodi Ellen Malpas or even the One Night Series!

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